Certain words ring true at particular times in our lives. We might be living through something, or feeling under siege, and you come across a word that elicits that Charlie Brown response from one his infamous sessions with Lucy: “That’s It!!!” he shouts, bowling Lucy over, after she offers her diagnosis to poor ole’ Chuck.

The word this week (and perhaps this month) for me is “dissemble,” as in feigning, concealing, or tamping down one’s true feelings. This is often done for some gain: personal, financial, social. The dissembler might even experience dissonance in the midst of their dissembling.

I actually came across the word in an article in New York magazine, about Rudy Giuliani. Hard to know that Rudy has any other purpose at the moment than to “dissemble” or equivocate about our current pathological president. But Rudy’s getting divorced. Did you know that?

Divorce happens. I get it. But I am proud of staying married for 36 years when both of us had the opportunity to bail. Now, I often turn around and find one person in my corner—my better half, my wife and best friend, Mary. But I’m not one of the powerful people like Giuliani and Trump. I’m just one of the hoi polloi and proud of it.

In the article, the former mayor’s wife, Judith, explains the difference between “the Rudy she married and the Rudy she is divorcing.” She contrasts the former “straight-talking mayoral past with his current presidential-lawyer habit of “dissembling,” to put it kindly” Boom! There’s the word.

The Mayor at Ground Zero. He’s since been “dissembling” about the woman to his left (Hillary Clinton)-New York Magazine photo

Dissembling keeps you on the inside (most times), safe, protected, but more-often-than-not, you betray yourself and your values and beliefs (if you have any).

I miss Mark each and every day. But I remember him with pride and a love that will last forever. He was true to himself (and to the people in his life), right up until the last breath he took on this earth. Too bad more of us can’t look to people like him, rather than dissemblers like Giuliani and Trump, or those individuals in our lives that are utter phonies and frauds. Better yet, weed them out of your life.

Sometimes it gets lonely, but it’s better to be yourself (by yourself), or with a small contingent of honest and truthful people in your corner.