Tag Archives: Co-workers

Changing Lanes

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A lifetime of work experience leaves many of us adrift at some point in our “work careers.” I love that phrase in that it glorifies what’s basically a soul-killing enterprise.

After freelancing and being primarily self-employed since mid-2012, I’m back in a work environment similar to the previous world I once inhabited. Working at home seems romantic to many who haven’t done it for any significant period. The reality of staying home and working remotely is pretty isolating. At least I found that to be true, especially since Mark was killed.

I did spend the past two years being out five nights a week, tutoring at a private school. That gig helped pay the bills and I did get out of the house. But the students were difficult, save for a few that I felt I might have made some small difference with. Then again, I might be deluding myself. The tutors I worked with and saw every night aren’t people I’ve remained in-touch with.

Find your lane and stay in it.

I’m in week four of a new job. It’s the “honeymoon” phase, so my expectations are minimal. They pay me, so anything more than that will be a bonus. Continue reading →

Distancing from Darkness

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Over the past few weeks, I’ve received several hand-written notes. These were all personalized acknowledgements of what Mary and I have been going through since Mark was killed on January 21. Often, they touched on the difficult time that this person had in reaching out and the struggle for words that adequately addressed what they thought we are going through.

When people that know you don’t respond, it only compounds the grief and loss that you are feeling. That’s been my experience anyways in not hearing from people that I assume know that we lost our only son—and that we are walking through a valley and have been for more than two months.

As Linda Andrews writes in her lovely and pertinent book about grief and loss, Please Bring Soup To Comfort Me While I Grieve,

When it comes to the topic of grief, many people are uncomfortable and unprepared to know what to say or do. Some people try to say the right thing and others just avoid the whole situation. The effect on the person who is grieving is devastating; feelings of pain, hurt, anger and disappointment prevail. People who are grieving are not in a position to understand this flaw in the human spirit. Continue reading →