The Tutor

After the interminable summer of 2017—a summer oppressively sad following a major loss—I ended up taking a position: I would be tutoring youth at a nearby private school. Since it was 10 minutes from my house in Brunswick, the location seemed right. It was at night, so I had my days to be down and depressed (or in theory, be able to write).

I told the academic dean who hired me “the story.” I let him know that I couldn’t commit to anything long-term. Amazingly, he was okay with that. That was the extent of what I could handle at that moment in my life.

On my third night, I ended up paired with a young man who needed help with statistics. I hadn’t done statistics since I’d been taking night school classes during my CMP days in the mid-1990s. Somehow, I remembered enough to provide some help to my protégé.

He was back the following night. The two of us became a team, an academic Odd Couple of sorts. Over the remainder of the 2017-18 school term, we worked on English, History, and fortunately for me—he dropped statistics. The person supervising the night Guided Study program asked me if I’d want to work with Billy as a one-on-one assignment. Since I had nothing better to do with my evenings, I agreed. Continue reading

Fashionable and Fickle

Some music videos for today and a little bit of context. This is the best I can do on this post-Oscar Monday, with two articles blasted out the door this morning (that I worked on all weekend), a paper due for my history class on Friday, and the usual other suspects from this thing called “life.”

Basically, I was looking for an excuse to post this video, from a favorite Canadian musician of mine, Joel Plaskett. Here’s to fashionable people.

Back when I was still able to light myself on fire so others could watch me burn with enthusiasm for things like writing, and urging others forward, drawing on my own journey of reinvention, I’d often share a snippet from Seth Godin’s wonderful Poke the Box. It was about a Canadian band of over-achievers called Hollerado. Yes, they were a literal band.

I’d read the section in the book about how they released their first record, called Record in a Bag. Yes, that was the record’s actual title.

Godin obviously was impressed about these four Canadian rockers and their will to overcome adversity. Like booking their first American tour, or better: simply getting in a van and driving as far away from their home town of Manitock, Ontario, and showing up at venues where a show was happening and telling a fib about having a gig lined up down the street that fell through and asking, “Would you guys mind if we played a short set here tonight?” They ended up playing a shit-ton of shows with this ploy. There’s all kinds of other motivation, fo-shizzle.

Today, for whatever reason, I thought, “I wonder what Hollerado’s up to these days?” They’re breaking up after 10 years of striving. That’s life, and even those who are willing to Poke the Box can’t always clear every hurdle. Not sure what the circumstances are—perhaps it’s as simple as wanting to do something other than log thousands of miles in a van and deal with the fickle nature of success. Continue reading

Validation

How often do you affirm other people? I mean, honestly recognizing qualities and positive traits—some amazing skill or ability they have. I’m guessing not very often.

Yesterday, I spoke to two friends. One of them I’ve known since 1988 when we were both new meter readers at our local power company. The other one, I met in February, the weekend we held Mark’s Celebration of Life at Brown.

The former knew Mark from the age of five and saw him grow into his teenage years. We’d lost touch as Mark got into college. But with true friends, a sabbatical isn’t a deal breaker.

My old friend was crushed when he learned Mark was killed. I’d called him the next day because I knew he’d find out and I wanted him to hear from me. He’s been there for me over the past eight months.

My newer friend and Mark were colleagues at Brown. Both navigated the school’s Literary Arts program together, earning MFAs. They are also poets.

We’ve been calling every other week and have deep and meaningful conversations about life. Yesterday, we were talking about how rare it is in this life to receive validation.

It’s interesting that our current president is a man who has made his way to the top by doing the opposite—tearing down others and seeking to destroy them. That says a great deal about the value that Americans place on catching others doing good and authentically recognizing that. Continue reading