A Year From Now

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People love making plans. Dreaming can be fun, and looking ahead might be “the American pastime.” If not, it’s something that most of us do, like we’re guaranteed a future pregnant with certainty.

This weekend I read a story on the war that most of us have forgotten about in Afghanistan. I empathize with the soldiers and their sense that this war seems to lack a purpose or an end game. I also thought about those forced to live, waiting for a bomb to fall on their heads, or to having soldiers kick in the door under the guise of looking for “the enemy.” I’m pretty sure that for both the soldiers and the natives, planning for the future seems like a moot point. Life for them simply becomes an act of survival.

What Does the Future Hold?

I know a bit about what happens when one’s life gets flipped upside-down. One thing that goes away is the certainty (and a certain arrogance) that you actually control the ability to look out into the future. The present is affected, too. Then, there’s the tendency to hearken back to the past and the preference to “live” there. Continue reading →

Writing Fatigue

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It’s rare for me, but I’m struggling a bit with my writing. Perhaps this has something to do with writing nearly 200,000 words about my only son, who I’m no longer able to commune with.

Sending out something this personal and connected to my grief journey is daunting. I’ll eventually learn whether anyone thinks my book is any good. Quite likely, I’ll have to weather a season filled with notes of rejection. I just received one this week.

Actually, I’m not tired of writing. I’ve developed a number of drafts detailing how shitty some people have been to Mary and me over the past 19 months. They’re honest that’s for sure. But I’m positive these assholes couldn’t handle having a mirror held up for them, showing them what fakes and phonies they are. So instead of posting, I’ve just been filing them away.

Possibly my recent lack of content development might also be associated with my personal physical challenges I’ve been living with this summer. SI joint pain hasn’t been fun. I am getting better, but if I do too much, I have setbacks. Continue reading →

Baseball Time Travel

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This past weekend, the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, New York inducted another class of baseball greats. Their plaques will be added to the existing group of former players enshrined at the equivalent of the sport’s holy grail.

When we returned from Indiana in 1987, Mark’s formative baseball experience was centered on National League teams like the Chicago Cubs rather than New England favorites, the Boston Red Sox. This was in large part due to the influence of superstations like WGN in Chicago and Atlanta’s TBS.

We didn’t own a television for the first three years we were married. Then, in 1984, having a TV seemed important. We began watching Cubs’ games and Mark’s first professional game was attended at Wrigley Field in 1985.

In 1989, we crossed the river and began renting an affordable duplex in the town where I grew up, waiting for our first house to be built. We signed up for the cable package that happened to include TBS. We began following baseball on Ted Turner’s station. Mark became a fan of “America’s Team,” which is how Turner, the Braves’ owner, took to marketing his club.

If a film director was casting about for a movie set that epitomized small town America, he’d be hard-pressed to find a place more fitting than the village of Cooperstown, with a population slightly less than 2,000 year-round residents. Of course, on one weekend in July, the town becomes the destination for tens of thousands of hard-core hardball fans, who spend induction weekend rubbing elbows with greatest to have ever played the game.

Cooperstown, NY: The home of baseball’s Hall of Fame.

Continue reading →

The Business of America

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Yesterday I saw an eagle. He was soaring over Route 1, along the Androscoggin River, between downtown Brunswick and Cook’s Corner. To see one is a rare gift.

When I was a pre-teen, you never saw eagles. They were near extinction.

This year, I’ve seen four eagles, including one night in April when I was sitting out on my deck overlooking Woodward Cove. Not more than 30 yards away from me was a large bald eagle, preening himself(?) in a tree. I watched  for nearly 15 minutes with binoculars ’til it was too dark to see him.

Don’t want to live in a world without bald eagles.

The reason that bald eagles have returned is that the Endangered Species Act did what it was intended to do—save the species under its care from extinction. It has done such a good job since being enacted—saving 99 percent of the species under its care from extinction that business interests in the U.S. want it relaxed and perhaps done away with: mainly so they can do what they do best—conduct America’s business, which is “bidness.”

Taxes on corporations continue to fall. (NY Times graph)

To talk with a businessman, you’d think that the “gooverment” was trying to put them out of business. The graph above shows something entirely different. Continue reading →

Failures of Kindness

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I’m reading a book of short stories by George Saunders. The librarian that checked it out for me waxed effusive about Saunders. His stories are good, although they fall short of another book of short stories I just finished by Ottessa Moshfegh.

I picked up Moshfegh’s book because I got a Google alert and discovered something she shared about Mark in an interview for Vulture, including one of his 50-books-in-a-year as one of 10 works she’d take with her to a desert island. I’d never read anything by her. She was in his MFA cohort at Brown:

We lost this brave genius last year, and the books he gifted us while he lived are so wonderfully strange and honest and beautiful, I can’t believe he even existed. He was more than a poet or performance artist — Baumer’s life itself was a work of art. He was truly radical, and the most openhearted, unjaded human I’ve ever met.

That was kind of her. Continue reading →

We Deserve It

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At the summit. (Business Insider)

Indignation’s become a cottage industry in America since the election of Donald J. Trump as our 45th president. I’d rather refer to him as our “Big Orange Cheetoh.” That’s probably too much for the Trump Kool-Aid Crowd to bear. But the guy obviously tans, as evidenced by the return of the goggle marks around his eyes. Not to mention, his most recent claim to fame prior to becoming president was that of a reality TV huckster.

None of this is new or revealing. All you really need to know about Trump’s fitness for the presidency can be gleaned from reading Michael Wolff’s book about the Trumpinator, since you won’t dig much deeper than that. And again, if you insist on wearing your ideological blinders (either the left or right versions), you’ll always get the reasons why we’re now ruled by The Donald, wrong. Continue reading →

Pain in the Back

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My back odyssey continues. I spent the weekend pretty much supine. This sucked for a host of reasons including not being able to make a planned trip to the Finger Lakes region in New York for our 36th wedding anniversary. Miss Mary is the best partner a man could have, but I know she was disappointed, while also remaining sympathetic to my pain.

On my back, courtesy of a “back emergency.”

I know what the problem is. I’m just finding it hard to locate someone to treat it correctly. If that sounds weird, then you have probably been lucky concerning your health care affiliations.

While it’s been a difficult stretch filled with pain and reduced activity, I’ve also learned a host of things about my back. A book I found at the library, written by a doctor, Arthur Brownstein, offered some real insight into dealing with back pain and ways to treat it, holistically. Some of his tips for “back emergencies” really helped Saturday and Sunday.

A good friend is also struggling with back issues. Another friend was considering pulling his own infected tooth before he ended up having it done by a professional. Lots of other people are dealing with personal adversity.

Hoping to have something more optimistic to report, soon.

Left Coast Tacos

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In a perfect world—which for me right now would be one without excruciating (at times) back pain—plant-based foods would be ubiquitous. But alas, I live in Maine, where snout-to-tail cooking and meat necklaces abound. Don’t get me wrong, Maine has some great food, it’s just not the greatest place to be a plant-based vegan.

I love tacos. I’ve even managed to develop a couple of my own versions that don’t rely upon meat fillings. One is made with tempeh, the other with a plant-based crumble that’s readily available in most Maine supermarkets (including Shaw’s and Hannaford’s).

Vegan tacos are the bomb! (The Minimalist Baker)

The reason why I’m talking tacos this morning is entirely due to the New York Times’ California Today newsletter that I’m signed up for and receive weekdays. As California goes, so goes the nation.

When we were out in Los Angeles in 2017, you could throw a rock and pretty much hit a vegan eatery in most parts of town. Some of them were absolutely amazing. In a city of 10 million people, economies of scale are a big factor in food options and variety. Instead of menus with minimal options nearly invisible due to burgers, chicken, and fish, you have chefs like this one, transforming native foods from her home country of El Salvador, offering more than 40 ethnically-authentic dishes. Continue reading →

Never Gonna’ Be a Rock Star

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Watching this morning’s local newscast, the weather theme was dire: apparently, according to the two longtime morning hosts, it was going to be “too darn hot.” Warnings were proffered about excessive heat—along with “important” tips thrown out on hydration and the need to keep cool. All of this could be summed up as, “you need to stay home, with everything shut up and the A/C blasting.” Sorry, but that’s not how I plan to roll today.

Back on Saturday, the southern Midcoast’s version of a local summer festival, the Bath Heritage Days, launched what is likely the most ambitious line-up of bands and musical performers I can recall in these parts. Hell, even Portland doesn’t have a music event this summer boasting five successive days and nearly 30 acts!

Five days of music in Bath.

We live in odd times. People seem more enamored with the 0s and 1s that live inside their hand-held screens. My assessment mainly comes from being there from the start of the programming on Saturday at noon, at Bath’s Waterfront Park to hear my first performer. Actually, it’s more than that, too. No matter where you go these days, people are usually staring at their phones more often than they are engaging with their fellow humans. Continue reading →

Back From the Road

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I’m home from the road. I especially missed my better half during my time out on America’s highways. There were those times when I just wanted to share whatever I was seeing or experiencing along the way with Mary. Social media is great. Texts and phone calls allow you to remain in-touch. But looking into the eyes of that special someone is something you can only do face-to-face.

Back issues have been a semi-regular affliction in my life. No matter how diligent I might be about exercise and taking care of myself, I can bend down and my back will suddenly “go out.” It doesn’t happen all the time, but enough so that it’s become an annoyance.

My method for dealing with ongoing back situations has been to keep a skilled Doctor of Osteopathy (D.O.) on speed dial. I first discovered the benefits of osteopathic manipulation under the care of Dr. David Johnson. Back then (1987), his practice was in Yarmouth. He was always overbooked, and I learned to bring a something to read and get used to waiting 45 minutes (if not longer) beyond my appointment time. The relief he provided was always worth the wait. He left for a sabbatical and I needed to find another D.O. Fortunately, I learned about Dr. Louis Hanson in Cumberland. I was with him for 25 years, even after he closed his practice due the demands of the 21st century medical model, and joined a practice group. I was devastated when he died in a plane crash, pursuing his passion of flying single-engine aircraft. Finding a new D.O. became challenging. Continue reading →